Have you ever entered your body to find it performing religious practices that offend your very soul? No? Well, you may not deal with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) then. In September 2021, a few alters who have been primary in the past, in the MyMEs system, came forward to take over as the "Maggie" alter... Continue Reading →
Time-Sharing This Body
I haven't been writing a lot on this blog. Instead, I have been making a habit of talking about Dissociative Identity Disorder very casually. Sometimes, I just refer to it as "my mental illness," other times I make sure to concentrate on the facets that have a wider mutual understanding, like complex-PTSD and anxiety as... Continue Reading →
A Colonoscopy, Ketamine and Polyfragmentation
When we were diagnosed in late 2015 with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), we initially came up with about 20 names that there was some sort of record in the brain or externally of the body having used. In three years of off-and-on treatment, the number of alters that have made their presence known some way... Continue Reading →
“I heard you said…”
As a woman whose body is shared by many different personalities, every single one of my social nightmares begins the same way: With someone approaching me as these words coming out of their mouth, "I heard you said..." It really doesn't matter what comes next. The words will all fade out no matter what they... Continue Reading →
My Littles are Screaming
The little people inside my head are screaming. Uncontrollably. They don't like change. I am not sure how many there are, but there seem to be at least 4 under the age of 6. Personalities that are still little. That don't understand why the body is so huge and clumsy. They tend to walk the... Continue Reading →
Debriefing after a Break
Last week I lost it. Just completely and totally lost it.
If you have ever told anyone you have a mental illness, you probably know "the look." It happened to me yesterday, where I volunteer. The lady who gave it is a sweet and kind soul and probably had no clue it was even on her face. But it was. She gave me "the look." I'm... Continue Reading →
Triggers – Can I Control Them?
Topics can come up a radio show that just by the drop of ONE word… my day is ruined: a trigger has happened.
What are “triggers?” They are those situations, internal or external that cause a reaction. Usually a swift one.
Solitude – Being Alone With All of MEs
Alone is not very... Being a “multiple,” that is, a person with more than one personality, is less boring than being a “mono” (normal person, or at least a person who only developed one personality) according to my therapist. Sometimes I wonder if he admires those of us with many voices in our heads. Laughing.... Continue Reading →
Now that the diagnosis has been made, I am trying again to start a place for me to keep the insights I am making. For me. And for any one who chooses to join me.
Dissociative Identity Disorder. Multiple Personality Disorder. Disorder. Am I a Disorder? I don't think so. I do believe that my life has been made a challenge by the method my brain chose at a very young age, to deal with trauma.
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