I haven't been writing a lot on this blog. Instead, I have been making a habit of talking about Dissociative Identity Disorder very casually. Sometimes, I just refer to it as "my mental illness," other times I make sure to concentrate on the facets that have a wider mutual understanding, like complex-PTSD and anxiety as... Continue Reading →
New Beginning
Last month I found and began therapy with a doctor who shares my religion and gender. Unless and until she releases me to talk about who she is, I will refer to her as "Dr. S" in this blog. It has been a month of talking. The people on the inside of my brain are... Continue Reading →
Twin Tears
The trip to return to my home state of Washington was full of setbacks, until I actually hit the Arizona border. From there on out, it was smooth sailing. That's not to say that I didn't experience my share of anxiety; I always do when driving. However, the drive was also full of time for... Continue Reading →
My Littles are Screaming
The little people inside my head are screaming. Uncontrollably. They don't like change. I am not sure how many there are, but there seem to be at least 4 under the age of 6. Personalities that are still little. That don't understand why the body is so huge and clumsy. They tend to walk the... Continue Reading →
Debriefing after a Break
Last week I lost it. Just completely and totally lost it.
A Bad Week
I'm a medical cannabis patient. It is the only medication that hasn't left me with debilitating side-effects. The biggest problem is unreliable supply. Why do I have an unreliable supply? Because I can't afford the retail prices for my medication. I am disabled, my only income is disability retirement insurance, which barely covers my general... Continue Reading →
The Look
If you have ever told anyone you have a mental illness, you probably know "the look." It happened to me yesterday, where I volunteer. The lady who gave it is a sweet and kind soul and probably had no clue it was even on her face. But it was. She gave me "the look." I'm... Continue Reading →
Triggers – Can I Control Them?
Topics can come up a radio show that just by the drop of ONE word… my day is ruined: a trigger has happened.
What are “triggers?” They are those situations, internal or external that cause a reaction. Usually a swift one.
Solitude – Being Alone With All of MEs
Alone is not very... Being a “multiple,” that is, a person with more than one personality, is less boring than being a “mono” (normal person, or at least a person who only developed one personality) according to my therapist. Sometimes I wonder if he admires those of us with many voices in our heads. Laughing.... Continue Reading →
My Me’s
Now that the diagnosis has been made, I am trying again to start a place for me to keep the insights I am making. For me. And for any one who chooses to join me.
Dissociative Identity Disorder. Multiple Personality Disorder. Disorder. Am I a Disorder? I don't think so. I do believe that my life has been made a challenge by the method my brain chose at a very young age, to deal with trauma.
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