A Colonoscopy, Ketamine and Polyfragmentation

When we were diagnosed in late 2015 with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), we initially came up with about 20 names that there was some sort of record in the brain or externally of the body having used. In three years of off-and-on treatment, the number of alters that have made their presence known some way... Continue Reading →

“I heard you said…”

As a woman whose body is shared by many different personalities, every single one of my social nightmares begins the same way:  With someone approaching me as these words coming out of their mouth, "I heard you said..." It really doesn't matter what comes next. The words will all fade out no matter what they... Continue Reading →

Confronting Drama with ALL of MEs

We have been married for almost three years. Every month I lived with my husband, he went through both of our medicine supplies by the 10th of the month. The rest of the month he spent digging out the hidden stashes I had and complaining and begging his mother to send him money. Which she did on several occasions.

Twin Tears

The trip to return to my home state of Washington was full of setbacks, until I actually hit the Arizona border. From there on out, it was smooth sailing.  That's not to say that I didn't experience my share of anxiety; I always do when driving. However, the drive was also full of time for... Continue Reading →

My Littles are Screaming

The little people inside my head are screaming. Uncontrollably. They don't like change. I am not sure how many there are, but there seem to be at least 4 under the age of 6. Personalities that are still little. That don't understand why the body is so huge and clumsy. They tend to walk the... Continue Reading →

The Look

If you have ever told anyone you have a mental illness, you probably know "the look." It happened to me yesterday, where I volunteer. The lady who gave it is a sweet and kind soul and probably had no clue it was even on her face. But it was. She gave me "the look." I'm... Continue Reading →

Triggers – Can I Control Them?

Topics can come up a radio show that just by the drop of ONE word… my day is ruined: a trigger has happened.

What are “triggers?” They are those situations, internal or external that cause a reaction. Usually a swift one.

Solitude – Being Alone With All of MEs

Alone is not very... Being a “multiple,” that is, a person with more than one personality, is less boring than being a “mono” (normal person, or at least a person who only developed one personality) according to my therapist. Sometimes I wonder if he admires those of us with many voices in our heads. Laughing.... Continue Reading →

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